Update on life….and my jaw surgery!

So, this post is going to be a little long, I'm warning whoever reads this in case you want to back out before you commit to this gig of reading a post of mine. Then again I'm never sure if anybody reads this blog except when I share it on my Facebook profile,then I know at least one or two people read it, then theres the fact that I can look at the views on each post when I go to edit or delete any drafts I have. Not that I do……okay maybe I do,but in all fairness this is a blog for me to keep track of my life and journey on this adventure to and after my jaw surgery.

Speaking of that, I have an update! We still don't have an official date( I feel like I should be asking guys to come and get their faces cut open with me when I say I don't have an official date), but I do have a tentative date,time and place, thats more than I had so I'm hoping it becomes official, I'm really hoping that I'll suddenly get like five letters in the mail officially confirming everything at once(in my dreams!) So our new tentative date is October 30th, 2014 at  a hospital(I'm not telling you which hospital in case anybody tries to steal me away in the night!) So thats good.

I got to see my friends baby sister on Friday and she is absolutely the most adorable baby in the world,no picture for the sake of the sweet babys privacy(I mean she is only a month old!) They look like a happy family and that baby is getting so much love.

I've also been getting addicted to Gossip Girl on Netflix, a show that I never ever thought I would watch,but can't get enough of now, I'm insane for liking such a show,but whatever!

I got a new steering wheel cover as well, I love it! I really think thats all I have today, so this post wasn't as long as I thought it was going to be…..so yeah, bye! OH! My dad brought home a pumpkin cupcake last night for my mom and I, mom doesn't like pumpkin and neither do I usually,but OMG THIS CUPCAKE WAS AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS! I DONT EVEN LIKE PUMPKIN BUT THIS CUPCAKE DID NOT TASTE LIKE THE HEAVY PUMPKIN PIE,IT TASTES LIKE A LIGHT FLUFFY CUPCAKE WITH CINNAMON FROSTING ON IT, I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN WITH THAT CUPCAKE! MMMMMMMMMMMM! and I think thats it now.

Finding Faith…. Connecting with your spiritual side in the midst of hardships

I'm going to straddle off from what this blog is usually about,which is my journey into jaw surgery and other fun stuff. I do have an update to my jaw surgery,but thats going to be saved for a later post until I know for sure its an update.  But I'm going to talk about something else, finding your faith and connecting with your spiritual side in the midst of hardships. Even if you aren't religious,thats okay. its not your story,we all have our own stories,so just hear me out for a few.


Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

I was born 19 years ago in March, to two loving parents who went to church, a brother who is a great older brother and a sister who had health problems,and still does(I'm not going into detail). As far as I can remember, going to church had been a big part of my younger life, I remember the drive to the church and the walking with my parents while they talked to the big people before the service started. I remember the church band and the christian songs we would sing, I remember being held in either parents arms while we sang and then the pastor would send all the kids off to sunday school in our respective age groups. I remember us going to church until I was probably in second grade. I did go to church with my friend and her church was fun, they had dancers from Africa,I think,but the dance was from a different culture. Anyways, we stopped going to church for awhile because our pastor moved to a new church and the church kind of disintegrated,so we just stopped going to church,or at least my parents did. My sister and I started going to church with a family friend for a few years until I hit my teen years. or high school I think,I'm still a little fuzzy on when I stopped going. But I did volunteer at the nursery at the church our old pastor is the pastor of now,but then they moved to another city and my parents didn't want to drive that far. So church going has kind of been nonexistent for me lately.

You may be wondering why I just gave you a life detail of my church going record, its mostly for me to know. but I think somewhere in my teen years I may have lost a little piece of myself. a piece I need and I have slowly been rebuilding that piece. And yet I'm not entirely sure if I ever lost that piece or if I really had a connection to my spiritual side. I know I did when I was younger,but I wasn't exactly a good girl as far as being honest and stuff. I admit I did some things that were not good in gods eyes like lie and steal, I mean I never stole from a store or a restaurant,but I did lie to my parents and steal from my friends, one particular friend I always returned the stuff I took,I don't know if thats stealing or not. Anyways I did clean up my act after my mom really yelled at me one night and said she couldn't trust me anymore. That really hurt my heart that I hurt my mom to the point where she couldn't trust me. so it took my awhile to regain her trust,but I did eventually and even though she never told me in words that I earned her trust back,actions speak louder than words, so I knew when she knew she could trust me again.

Now everybody tells little white lies from time to time and we really shouldn't because a lie is a lie no matter how big or small and I admit I am not totally honest 100% of the time,but I am working on it still, which leads me to my point that usually takes a long time to get to because I like to talk like my mom likes to talk. Somewhere I lost my spiritual side I think and I never really read the bible cover to cover,but I knew some of the biblical stories like the one of Noah's Ark and Adam and Eve and even had a book called the Odyssey which was kind of like a kids version of the bible with little biblical comics in it that had lessons about things like in the bible, I lost it though and forgot some of the stories. Hmm typing this post made me realize I still kept a little of my spiritual side, I just strayed away for a little while. I realize that I want to start going to church again, but I'm not sure how to pick a church, I may want to go back to the one with our old pastor,but the drive is far. I wasn't even sure what religion I was until my mom told me. I just want to stay in touch with God, and right now I'm doing that by watching christian movies,watching 19 kids and counting, reading bible quotes and praying about every other week. I really am trying and I may need some help on this road,so I guess pray for me. I realize this post is literally all over the place. I'm sorry.

JAW SURGERY UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last time I had an update was when we got the approval for the headscan.


Heres an update on the update!!!!!!!


I just got my headscan done this morning at ten am and saw the X-ray of my skull and my orthodontist did the impressions on my teeth, for those of you who have never gone through impressions, let me explain what they do.
 Let me tell you something about headscans, for me, I have to take my hearing aids off so they don't show in the X-ray,it is the weirdest yet most normal thing for me to literally be told to go sit down and have this machine scan my head and not be able to hear anything or be able to hear just a little. be glad you "normal" people have ears.

So the orthodontist takes this thing that goes inside your mouth and onto of your teeth and puts it in your mouth to determine what size you need, in my case I always need the smallest size possible because my jaw is small. Then they take this goopy puddy and put it inside the contraption and then they put the thing with the puddy inside your mouth and smash it against your teeth so they can get an imprint of your teeth. The only thing is the puddy smells and if your tongue accidentally touches it, tastes like medicine and goop, kind of like play doh once you get the curiosity and try to eat it. its gross and I had to get four imprints done, so thats four rounds of really gross goop and I had to rinse my mouth out almost every time after they did it. Eww!

The surgery date is still estimated at October 29th,so thats about a month, I think though, we may end up either pushing it further into the beginning of November, or pushing it back closer to middle of October,we will see though.

Then they put a new set of rubber band on me, I got purple. They also had to give me a new bracket for one of my teeth because last week I was drinking a bottle of pepsi and was kind of maybe biting on the bottle and it slipped and knocked the bracket loose, but I didn't tell my orthodontist what I was drinking.

Lesson learned,never bite the top of any bottle while wearing braces! At least I had a name tooth for a few minutes while they did the impressions.

Being Different

             

They laugh at me because I'm different;

I laugh at them because they're all the same.

They laugh at me because I like reading;

I laugh at them because they like trashy reality shows.

They laugh at me because I'm a brunette;

I laugh at them because they're all blondes.

They laugh at the way I walk;

I laugh at the way they whisper.

They laugh at my lisp

I laugh at their lips.

They call me slow and retarded;

I call them ignorant and misguided;

They tease me, but I see the truth.

They see my weight in numbers;

I see my curves in beauty.

They see my height as short,

I see my height as 

A beautiful flower

One that didn't need

 to take long to grow.

They see the world one way,

I see it another

They see silicon and Botox

I see Barbie dolls multiplying everywhere.

They see their own kind

I see fake and impressionable minds

They see Beiber as a god

I see him as a fool with money.

They say money is power,

I say money is evil.

They say ignorance is bliss

I say ignorance is blind.

They say different is wrong;

I see different as strong

Because I'd rather be myself,

Than be like all the blonde silicon Barbie dolls who judge different.

If anybody reads this……..

If Anybody reads this post, just know you are loved by someone, even if you don't feel like you are loved by someone,you are. Also know this, you love at least two people in your life,even if you don't like them sometimes. Those two people are whoever you think of when you want to share exciting news with someone,whoever has your shoulder when you cry. It may be your parents,your siblings,grandparents, your neighbor next door who you go visit every other day because they're lonely and its nice talking to them. Someone loves you and you love at least two people in your life.

Now, everybody automatically thinks of one person they love when they're asked who loves you, but most people don't know the second person, and the second person is here,but not in the physical you can see them sense. Now before you decide to stop reading because you know where I'm going with this, please, just bear with me, I'm gonna go there,but not for too long. Trust me, this has a point to it.

There is someone who loves all of his children,you know who I'm talking about. Not all of his children love or know about him or his one son, I'm also going to say everything happens for a reason and the reason explains itself sooner or later. For example, say you had a very important meeting you had to get to with the head of your company, but your alarm clock doesn't go off,you oversleep and now you're late! 

You are mad as crazy and call your boss apologizing and ask to reschedule for later in the day. theres no answer.  You rush to get ready and turn on the news only to find that a plane has crashed into your workplace and its on fire now. You stop dead in your tracks and your eyes don't leave that television screen until the news is over a few hours later. By that time your workplace has burned down to the ground,another place crashes into the building next to yours and a third plane crashed into a major part of your companies headquarters. Theres also a fourth plane that crashed into the ground near the CEOs house that you don't know about yet,but will find out later at a meeting. Now aren't you glad you overslept,probably not at the moment,but soon you will be grateful for your life and mourn the lives of those who were lost in this awful tragedy.

Well,this probably happened to someone 13 years ago this morning, September 11,2001. I'm not sure who this happened to since I myself was only a kid at the time,but I've seen enough documentaries and videos of this day to know what went down and how many were affected by this. I think this was The man upstairs who did this,he has a reason for everything, I think it was to make us as a country aware that we're not immune to attacks, just because we go and attack other countries does not make us immune to being attacked ourselves. 

Now Riddle me this Joker, why is it easier for everyone to drop bombs on each other and shoot each other and hurt innocent bystanders than it is for everyone to sit down and talk things out?

Think about this for awhile and I'll tell you a story.

Are you getting tired yet?

This story is not gonna be pretty

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived an angry man. He was so angry,but nobody knew why he was angry, he just was.

Well one day a sweet little boy came to visit him,try and cheer him up. The little boy entered the angry mans house and nobody ever heard from that little boy ever again.

The man was still angry,so a cute little girl who had heard of him in her town decided to pay him a visit and bring him some cookies. She entered his house and was never heard from again.

This happened a few more times with a few more cute boys and girls who were never heard from again after entering the angry mans house.

Then one day a boy visited the angry man,but this time the angry man was never heard from again and the bodies of the other children were recovered. The end

Now you're probably confused as heck and wondering what happened in the angry mans house, well, simple as this, he gave them poison and ate their heads, until one ugly boy came and chopped his head off. Not a good story or telling of the story,right?

It wasn't suppose to be a good story,it was a distraction while you thought about the question I asked earlier.

Why is it easier for everyone to bomb each other and go to war and hurt innocent bystanders than it is for us to sit down and talk it out?

Stubbornness, language barriers, cultural differences, MONEY,POWER, STUBBORNNESS, evil, who knows what the answer is. we all just know what we're doing now is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem. Unless we sit down and talk it out. five year olds know how to make up better than world leaders do. 

Now there is someone who loves all his children even if they don't know it. I think once we realize that he loves us,maybe,just maybe the evils will go away.

Now if you're still reading this. Please hug your loved ones,be grateful for your life. try and be happy even if you can't sincerely be happy, put a smile on your face anyways. lend a helping hand to someone who looks like they need some help. Most importantly, don't sweat the small stuff.

UPDATE! well kind of….

So we have kind of an update on the journey to the jaw surgery, we do have the authorization for the head scan that they need to do in order to make the acrylic model of my head so they can line everything up and figure out what needs to go where so in laments terms they don't screw anything up when they do the actual surgery. Then we still don't have a date for the actual surgery,but the estimated date would be October 29th if everything is done on schedule and smoothed out clear and stuff is done with a good amount of time in between the head scan and the surgery itself plus the other stuff I need to get done like getting all of the hooks into my mouth the day before the actual surgery,keep mentally preparing myself for the surgery, keep brushing and flossing my teeth and stuff. I'm just going to keep praying and be patient. I am hoping that we can get it done before Halloween so that I can be able to chew by Christmas(or somewhat chew) and not have to miss out on turkey and corn and mash potatoes. Plus it would be a good excuse for a spontaneous halloween costume if my face swells up like a balloon and I do somehow end up with bruises everywhere.

Sorry for the rambling, I'm just nervous and excited, I call it nervicted,which is not a word,but is to me. I'm just really hopeful and praying as much as a person could possibly pray, I don't think I've prayed this much about something before.  Now if anybody does happen to come across this and think I'm a lunatic or crazy. If anybody who knows me happens to come across this and is thinking "She doesn't need plastic surgery, she's beautiful as is!" Let me say this to you, you are right in that I don't need plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons because I am as beautiful as God made me to be and I know when I die I will leave my body and just be a soul, but I'm not doing this for cosmetic reasons, to tell you the truth, I didn't really want this surgery when I was younger,but everyone told me that I was going to have it. It was my Dad who actually told me what could happen if I don't get the surgery done, which is as I get older theres an increased chance of lockjaw and other stuff just because I do have a slight underdeveloped jaw. I did take a lot of time to think this through(try about 17 years of being told I was going to have it and two years of actually deciding for myself if I want to go through with this or not and actually weighing the pros and cons of this before coming to a decision) oh and I'm on my third year and almost a month in braces which to me means I've had braces about as long as I've had my one and only job. You tell me thats not patience, and I'm staying in braces through the surgery and a little while after it so they can adjust my braces to my newly aligned jaw. I am seriously rambling here. Even more than I usually do. So I guess thats it for right now. This is actually for medical reasons, so i can chew,breathe and overall just have a slightly healthier life. Maybe even get my trach removed?

THANKS HURRICANE NORBERT

We have rain today, the tv went off with the alarm saying hey flash flood warning for EVERYWHERE! its because its the backwash of Hurricane Norbert that came over the weekend. they're calling it the hundred year flood, I'm calling it slightly annoying.


Thanks Norbert

TAYLOR SWIFT SHAKE IT OFF!!!!!!

For some insane reason,this song really gets you moving and grooving,but it also has a subliminal message.

Shake it off, just gonna Shake it off!

All the liars and bullies and haters don't need to be on your mind, all you have to care about is you,well more like don't listen to negativity.


because Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate

Players gonna play play play play play

I'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake

Gonna Shake it off, just shake it off!



Taylor Swift has made genius once again.

Headscan and Joan Rivers

So we got the authorization for the headscan for my jaw surgery, now we just need to schedule it!!!!!!





On Another note, Joan Rivers died yesterday

  

There are many people mourning her death just like there are many laughing or cheering for the fact she's finally gone. All I have to say is this…

No matter what anybody thought about her, she is a legend and a pioneer for the women of comedy. She told the god honest truth about everything through her jokes,she worked hard to be in the industry. Without her we wouldn't have comedians like Kathy Griffin, Ellen DeGenerees or Sarah Silverman. Joan Rivers is like the Barbra Walters of comedy. and nobody, I mean nobody should disrespect a hard worker like her. May she rest in peace and chill with Robin Williams making the angels laugh.