I'm going to straddle off from what this blog is usually about,which is my journey into jaw surgery and other fun stuff. I do have an update to my jaw surgery,but thats going to be saved for a later post until I know for sure its an update. But I'm going to talk about something else, finding your faith and connecting with your spiritual side in the midst of hardships. Even if you aren't religious,thats okay. its not your story,we all have our own stories,so just hear me out for a few.
Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
I was born 19 years ago in March, to two loving parents who went to church, a brother who is a great older brother and a sister who had health problems,and still does(I'm not going into detail). As far as I can remember, going to church had been a big part of my younger life, I remember the drive to the church and the walking with my parents while they talked to the big people before the service started. I remember the church band and the christian songs we would sing, I remember being held in either parents arms while we sang and then the pastor would send all the kids off to sunday school in our respective age groups. I remember us going to church until I was probably in second grade. I did go to church with my friend and her church was fun, they had dancers from Africa,I think,but the dance was from a different culture. Anyways, we stopped going to church for awhile because our pastor moved to a new church and the church kind of disintegrated,so we just stopped going to church,or at least my parents did. My sister and I started going to church with a family friend for a few years until I hit my teen years. or high school I think,I'm still a little fuzzy on when I stopped going. But I did volunteer at the nursery at the church our old pastor is the pastor of now,but then they moved to another city and my parents didn't want to drive that far. So church going has kind of been nonexistent for me lately.
You may be wondering why I just gave you a life detail of my church going record, its mostly for me to know. but I think somewhere in my teen years I may have lost a little piece of myself. a piece I need and I have slowly been rebuilding that piece. And yet I'm not entirely sure if I ever lost that piece or if I really had a connection to my spiritual side. I know I did when I was younger,but I wasn't exactly a good girl as far as being honest and stuff. I admit I did some things that were not good in gods eyes like lie and steal, I mean I never stole from a store or a restaurant,but I did lie to my parents and steal from my friends, one particular friend I always returned the stuff I took,I don't know if thats stealing or not. Anyways I did clean up my act after my mom really yelled at me one night and said she couldn't trust me anymore. That really hurt my heart that I hurt my mom to the point where she couldn't trust me. so it took my awhile to regain her trust,but I did eventually and even though she never told me in words that I earned her trust back,actions speak louder than words, so I knew when she knew she could trust me again.
Now everybody tells little white lies from time to time and we really shouldn't because a lie is a lie no matter how big or small and I admit I am not totally honest 100% of the time,but I am working on it still, which leads me to my point that usually takes a long time to get to because I like to talk like my mom likes to talk. Somewhere I lost my spiritual side I think and I never really read the bible cover to cover,but I knew some of the biblical stories like the one of Noah's Ark and Adam and Eve and even had a book called the Odyssey which was kind of like a kids version of the bible with little biblical comics in it that had lessons about things like in the bible, I lost it though and forgot some of the stories. Hmm typing this post made me realize I still kept a little of my spiritual side, I just strayed away for a little while. I realize that I want to start going to church again, but I'm not sure how to pick a church, I may want to go back to the one with our old pastor,but the drive is far. I wasn't even sure what religion I was until my mom told me. I just want to stay in touch with God, and right now I'm doing that by watching christian movies,watching 19 kids and counting, reading bible quotes and praying about every other week. I really am trying and I may need some help on this road,so I guess pray for me. I realize this post is literally all over the place. I'm sorry.
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